The Murder of the Super King
The party boards a train to Clock Town, but as with most fantasy train rides, a murder most foul occurs, and the heroes are left to solve it! Synopsis 9:00 AM, Day 5 – Clock Town Train The heroes board the train and are greeted by the porter, Robinson, as the train takes off. They settle into their compartment and wait for the lunch bell, but Sylph gets restless and wants to check on Ren. She heads towards the back of the train, but she is unable to reach the caboose, as a sharply-dressed mercenary with a dazzling smile blocks the door to the final boxcar – the pink, gaudily decorated one they saw being hooked up before they left. The merc introduces himself as Ton Crews, a card-carrying member of the Bodyguards’ Guild, and refuses to let anyone pass to protect his client’s safety. Looking for another way around, Set and Azra accompany Sylph to the junction between cars. Azra climbs up and takes a peek on the roof, just to make sure the coast is clear, and sees a bow-wielding mercenary sitting uneasily on the roof of the pink boxcar. She quickly darts across the roof and gets the drop on his, bashing him over the head with her battle dildo. Startled, the archer begs for mercy as Setnam runs over to ease the situation. The mercenary introduces himself as Rufus Gardetto, another bodyguard. Sylph, meanwhile, flies right past and gets into the caboose, where she gives Ren a snack and sits with him a while. Marin and Rocco sit in the compartment and watch the scenery. 12:00 PM, Day 5 – Clock Town Train The others return just in time for the lunch bell. All the passengers gather in the dining car, where the Yook chef has prepared a batch of his famous Red Herring Stew. However, before anyone can be served, the Super King and his entourage waltz in from his personal, private, pink train car. Super King requisitions the entire pot of stew for himself and orders his Pleasants (his servants) to carry it back. Setnam tries to reason with him, amusing the Super King, who grants a single bowl of stew to Setnam alone. Set angrily throws the bowl of stew at the back of Super King’s head, but Ton Crews deftly deflects it by rolling the bowl along the edge of his blade, preventing any soup from hitting Super King and deflecting the bowl into the wall. The heroes remain in the dining car to chat with the other passengers for a few moments. An obese Hylian by the name of Fatts Tubberton seems to be the angriest about this turn of events – he’s a food critic for the Daily Mirror Shield and was planning to review the train’s famous cuisine on his ride today. An old woman and her grandson are also upset, though the granny applauds Setnam for standing up to the tyrant king. The party decides to march right up to Super King and find a way to get the stew back. However, when they arrive at Super King’s car, they find the door unguarded. Stepping inside, they see Super King lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood. Ton Crews stands over the body in shock. He claims that he turned his back for a second and Super King was murdered, but they immediately sense something suspicious about his story. While Super King hardly seems recognizable with his faceful of makeup now smeared with blood, he appears to have been stabbed directly in the chest. Ton Crews’s sword shows no sign of blood, even under magical investigation. Setnam senses some magic in the stately bedroom car and demands to search Super King’s luggage, though Ton Crews resists, claiming he doesn’t have the key anyway. Set relents and digs through only what he can open, stealing Super King’s weed pipe out of his nightstand. Rocco grabs a Pleasant who has been standing silently in the corner the whole time and Setnam interrogates him. The Pleasant refuses to answer in any form other than “nuh-uh” or “uh-huh”, eventually revealing that his tongue has been cut out. He apparently saw nothing, and can give no details anyway. The heroes notice that the stewpot is strangely absent from the room and decide to search the rest of the train. Sylph, having since returned from the caboose, remains in the car to keep a watch over Ton Crews, who slumps into the couch. Rocco and Set begin interviewing the other passengers, starting with the compartment closest to Super King’s car. The door is answered by a gruff Goron that neither of them have seen before, wearing baggy jeans and a hat that seems to cover his eyes. He introduces himself as Mucho Todo, grandson of famous Bodyguard Teddy Todo, and Rocco is starstruck. Mucho claims to have been sleeping in his car the whole time and heard no unusual commotion. He does, however, ask them if they know anything about a stolen Faberge Cucco Egg, which the heroes deny knowledge of. The next compartment is empty. Robinson comes along on his patrol and learns of Super King’s death, much to his dismay. When asked about the empty compartment, he explains that the room is rather broken-down, so the crew tell passengers a ghost story about a murder that took place there to keep them out. Setnam looks closely and spots red stains on the floor, which Robinson claims weren’t there before. Set tastes the droplets and recognizes the taste of stew. They move to the last compartment of the second boxcar. Rocco knocks, and there is a hesitation and some noise, so Rocco opens the door anyways. Fatts Tubberton is there, sitting next to a suspiciously large and unkempt pile of clothes, accompanied by an old Hylian man who neither hero recognizes. The old man claims to be Wemberton, Tubberton’s assistant from the newspaper. After asking some questions, Rocco decides to snatch the jacket off the top of the clothes pile, revealing the stewpot hidden underneath. Tubberton admits to having eaten his share of the stew, so Setnam demands they return it to the dining car. He also accuses Wemberton of murdering Super King, to which he replies “just let him be dead a while longer”. Once the stew has been returned and the other passengers have been served, Set and Rocco demand an explanation from Wemberton. He reveals that he is actually Wellington, Super King’s butler. Tired of his master’s game, he leads the heroes back to Super King’s car and opens one of the locked luggage trunks, out of which pops the Super King himself – alive, well, and holding the murder weapon (a bloody and ornate dagger). He reveals that he wanted to be entertained by the heroes’ antics, so he dressed up one of his Pleasants as himself and murdered him to create a mystery for the party to solve. Worried that Super King murdered an innocent civilian, the King reveals that this Pleasant was a convicted rapist who was committed to Super King’s charge as punishment. After the setup, Wellington decided to steal the stew and share it with Tubberton, whose work as a food critic he greatly admires. Ton Crews was in on Super King’s secret. To celebrate his elation, Super King showers the party in Rupees.